The Late Billy Graham - Seller of a Slicker Brand of Snake Oil

I waited to post this out of a sense of holding any invective until he was boxed up before leveling a broadside at the late Billy Graham.

Last Wednesday the gush gate was thrown wide open…gushing tears over the death of 99 year old purveyor of religious snake oil Billy Graham…and gushing sparkling accolades and tributes to his being what idolizers call the 20^th century’s greatest evangelist. I prefer huckster, but what the heck, evangelist, huckster...same thing.

Fox News immediately crowed “It’s a great day in Heaven.” Yes, a great day in Heaven….They actually spend part of their broadcast claiming it was A.GREAT.DAY.IN.HEAVEN!!!

How do they know? By what method can they know this? They do not have any faculties that the rest of us do not have, so please Fox, share with us how you know that it’s a great day in heaven. Flipping through a bible cannot and could not tell you that. You have indicated no apparatus that extends into the supernatural world so you could tap into the “great day festivities.” How are they even sure of Graham’s arrival there? Many Pentecostal preachers and church members will assure you in NO uncertain terms that Graham did not reach the Pearly Gates on Wednesday February 21st, or will he at any time in the future. The same sentiment would also be expressed by the Westboro Baptist Church.

Billy Graham was not a man any of us should revere or embrace. He built his career on being a bamboozler, or what in the old west was called a snake-oil salesman. He made countless open-ended promises that he never had to deliver on, promises built on heresies…scriptural heresies as interpreted from the Roman Catholic and Jewish points of view. Can you imagine what Torquemada of the Inquisition would have done with someone who preached scripture as Graham did?

But more to the point; who gets to determine which bible interpretation is correct? Is it the Presbyterian version? Methodist? Freewill Baptist? Shakers? Holy Rollers? Disciples of Christ? Mormon? Roman Catholic? Eastern Orthodox? Coptic Christian?

Billy Graham grew up in a Presbyterian home but eventually joined the more unruly evangelical Southern Baptist denomination, a group of regressives who objected to and refused to ordain women as ministers, although Graham eventually revised his thinking and said he could accept women’s ordination even though that appears to be in direct contradiction to 1 Timothy 2:11-12. He even initially opposed his own daughter Anne Graham Lotz from teaching a bible class…but later said she was the family’s best preacher. If his god existed, how would he view that statement given it is quite clear in the bible women are not to teach, assume authority over men, and to “learn in quietness”. If preaching is not teaching, what is it?

Fawning revisionist history blathers on about what a good man Billy Graham was when he actually was on the wrong side of history repeatedly. From his theological outlook that included racism, xenophobia, and homophobia, his passing will not wipe away the hate he helped foment that damaged so many lives. In 1993, he suggested that AIDS was punishment from God. “Is AIDS a judgment of God” he said while preaching in Columbus, Ohio. “l cannot be sure, but I think so.”

Graham was notorious for his anti-Semitic opinions. When the Nixon tapes were released, Graham is heard to reiterate an old conspiracy theory that claimed Jewish-Americans had a “stranglehold” on the media that “has got to be broken.” He also condemned gay marriage and targeted transgender people on his website.

.         Graham missed the boat on racial injustice, too, refusing to walk in 1963 with Martin Luther King Jr. in the March on Washington. Why? Because Graham did not subscribe to racial equality, stating on several occasions that little white boys and girls would only walk hand in hand with little black boys and girls “when Christ returned.” There was no sense in working for it until Jesus’ second coming… so equality be damned. It underlines the fact that Graham was a Civil Rights coward.

Graham became known for his revivals but those revivals basically amounted to Christian buzzwords, mild threats of hellfire and damnation, promises of a better world after this one, condemnation of communism…and a request for money. Love of God and country went hand in hand for him as he preached against the Soviets and Chinese, advocated an American way of life that never existed, and reminded people god expected them to give 10% of their income. In short, the perfect Republican. No wonder Richard Nixon and George W. Bush liked him.

Would those same people at Fox who find Graham’s death a cause for celebrating in heaven have accepted it as truth if, say, Al-Jazeera claimed it was a great day in paradise when 19 new martyrs arrived there on the morning of September 11, 2001 after killing hundreds aboard four aircraft and thousands in the Twin Towers and the Pentagon? What’s the difference other than the religion?

I just consulted my Magic 8 Ball and asked if there really was a celebration going on in heaven due to Graham’s arrival. Its answer was “Outlook Not So Good.” And you can believe my Magic 8 Ball because it is as reliable as that information about it being a great day in heaven. The difference is my Magic 8 Ball actually exists.

Mississippi Mud - Bigotry legalized in the Magnolia State

The deep south is a cesspool of bigotry. Since I live in Florida, let's start there.“If there is anybody under assault and discrimination, I’ll tell you who it is,” Ocala Florida Representative Dennis Baxley is quoted as saying back on March 2nd. “It is anyone who holds a biblical world view, and is simply trying to live by it. They are under assault. We are called haters.” Baxley was fuming as he helped push through the “Pastor Protection Act” following the U.S. Supreme Court’s ruling last year that same-sex couples have as much right to marry as heterosexual couples do. Outraged, Baxley immediately claimed the sky was falling and proposed legislation that had to be passed just in case someone objected to Christian bigotry.

Mizzippi Guv Phil "The Pill" Bryant

Baxley’s doppelgängers in Mississippi heard his clarion call from Florida’s capital of Tallahassee and passed their own legislation in Jackson called “Protecting Freedom of Conscience from Government Discrimination Act” that allows Mississippi’s Christians to maintain their hard-on against the LGBTQ community. The state’s Lieutenant-governor said “this bill simply protects those individuals from government interference when practicing their religious beliefs.” Which is another way of saying “legislation has to be passed in case someone objects to Christian bigotry.” Mississippi Senator Angela Burks Hil added “businesses are in jeopardy without this bill.” Because without the bill, those very same businesses wouldn't be allowed to mistreat someone who was perceived as different. The horror.

You see, bible-believing Christians think they are under assault. When they are not allowed to discriminate, that means they are being discriminated against. Their bible has a long-standing tradition of allowing them to vilify others based on what verses they choose to obey, so it’s heritage, not hate. Does that assertion sound a bit familiar? Same excuse for the canton in the upper left corner of the state’s flag.

Since the bible says Christians should condemn homosexuality, this bill will make it safe for ministers and religious leaders to urge their flock to treat LGBTQ people as pariahs and third-class citizens, and make sure the laws that are in place to protect the LGBTQ community are repealed. Businesses would have the right to refuse service to anyone they dislike and claim they're just exercising their religious freedom. Take that Supreme Court!

Now, hopefully Governor Phil Bryant and the Mississippi legislature are not complete hypocrites. If the bible is that important, they should step up to the plate and outlaw the rest of what their bible calls abominations; passing laws making it illegal to eat bacon, ham, and pork anywhere in the state. Leviticus 11:6-8 claims God orders people not to eat the meat, or touch the skin, of a dead pig because it makes the offender unclean. Implementing God’s revulsion of shellfish will play havoc with Mississippi’s shrimp industry too, as per Leviticus 11:9-12, but sacrifices will have to be made.

Eat shellfish...go to hell. It's that simple

Back to the abomination list: something needs to be done about all those people in the state working on the Sabbath since clearly in Exodus 31:14-15 those who break God’s command to observe the Sabbath with complete rest and no work must be put to death. Same with those who plant the wrong crops side by side, wear mixed fabric garments, have tattoos, and especially dealing with those foul-mouth kids who call mom and dad obscene names. (Here’s a job opportunity for an entrepreneur: start a rock distribution center to deliver them to Mississippians for stoning sessions outside their cities. If they ever get around to including adultery, you won’t be able to keep up with the rock demand.)

Hate seems like such a mild word to label what they’re doing in Mississippi…but as labels go, it fits perfectly. Many in the state refuse to concede the new law is in any way prejudicial against the LGBTQ community. They claim it’s meant to keep people from discriminating against Christians! So get out your Kleenex and let the tears flow because Christians are the real victims here.

Me thinks thou sanctimonious Mississippi Christians doth protest too much!

Jeb is as Dumb as Dubya - Why we don't need ANOTHER Bush!

            To paraphrase the old “pants/fat” joke…does the last name make him look like an idiot?

“I am asked sometimes whether I would ever allow my decisions in government to be influenced by my Christian faith. The simple and safe reply is no, never, of course not.”

The words of presidential hopeful Jeb Bush while giving the commencement address Saturday, May 9, 2015 at Liberty University, you know, the center of higher (that means Christian) learning started by Jerry Falwell. (Everyone remembers how tolerant, open-minded, and non-prejudicial Rev. Falwell was.) I am sure every student there breathed a sigh of relief that for once a candidate of Jeb’s stature wouldn’t be using the office of the presidency to expand his religious convictions, like, say, his brother George W. did. But when you read further, it’s obvious that’s exactly what Jeb would do.

                     The Senator made this statement in 1964. It has come to pass.

           

               The Bush article appeared in May 10^th newspapers across the nation and was entitled “Religious Freedom Defended at Liberty”. The problem is the title is incorrect, unless the word “freedom” has been flipped to mean the right to practice bigotry and intolerance.

              Expounding on what he views as an absolute religious right, he said “…as usual, the present [Obama] administration is supporting the use of coercive federal power. What should be easy calls, in favor of religious freedom, have instead become an aggressive stance against it. Somebody here is being small-minded and intolerant, and it sure isn’t the nuns, ministers, and laymen and women who ask only to live and practice their faith. Federal authorities are demanding obedience, in complete disregard of religious conscience – and in a free society, the answer [to obedience] is, ‘No.’”

                                Jeb looking confused, a typical Bush trait.

              Let me distill his gobbledygook so it’s clear what he meant. Business owners of faith want to discriminate against consumers based on a narrow-minded religious belief; and those who oppose that discrimination are being the “small-minded and intolerant” ones. The nuns, ministers, laymen and women living and practicing their faith should be allowed to use the power of law to continue their bigotry…because that’s what their holy book demands of them. We cannot allow that discrimination to be curtailed because without it, they cease to be true christians.”

             As usual, the clergy are allowed to select which parts of their holy books they’ll wield against the people they don’t like. Leviticus 11:9-12 states shellfish are an abomination but no church I know of demands government action against Red Lobster. And even though Leviticus 11:6-8 says don’t touch the skin of a dead pig, I have yet to hear, read, or see any person of faith ordering an end to American football games. But Jeb Bush wants to safeguard the religious bigotry of those who can’t abide gay marriage or the use of birth control. And he's considered the moderate GOP candidate.

             What is it about projection that is so appealing to politicians? Jeb wants to use the power of government so that people practicing their faith can continue to discriminate; not to use that power to grant all people the same rights. When it comes to religious bigotry, they deny there is any discrimination and instead claim it is those who are being discriminated against that are being small-minded and intolerant. Jeb drools over the ready-to-use accessibility of projecting religious discrimination. It’s the political version of "I know you are but what am I?".            

           Why should the government allow any loopholes for religious intolerance? Bigotry is bigotry whether it’s dressed up in the language of faith or not.

Will Gay Marriage Now Lead to Sex With Ducks?

             On October 6, 2014, the U.S. Supreme Court decided to let stand several state rulings that allow gay people to marry. Fundamentalists immediately challenged the decision. Their bible states that what gays do is an abomination and their wickedness should not be rewarded by permitting them to marry. Many of the faithful are asking why the justices are mocking their religion. After all, this is a Christian nation (It is, just ask them), and as such, they should be free to continue pushing their intolerance on our society for the foreseeable future. As Pat Robertson of the 700 Club said, if homosexuals are allowed to marry, it’s a slippery slope where people will be then be able to engage in any perversion.

Garfunkel & Oates sum it up succinctly in "Sex with Ducks"

Gay marriage makes Christians angry. Sure, children are dying from a variety of diseases around the world, like AIDS, Ebola and West Nile Virus. Yes, people are being killed by volcanic eruptions, earthquakes and religious extremists in Africa and the Middle East. Mothers even have to explain to their seven year olds what to do if a gunman begins shooting up their school. But those are just inconveniences when compared to two people of the same sex wanting to profess their love for each other and marry. In that case, Christians must prevent it at all costs.

Why is it that Jesus never spoke a word about homosexuality?

    

Republican Senator Ted Cruz of Texas called the court’s decision “tragic and indefensible.” Bryan Fischer of the American Family Association said it was “unconscionable, unconstitutional, and un-American.” In other words, how dare the justices give gay people the same rights as homophobic, religiously dogmatic, prejudiced Americans? What good is being in the majority if Christians can’t use that power against those they don't like...especially when it involves an issue where they claim the right to interfere - the sex lives of gays?

Notice how each is cheapened by the other.

And why all this fuss? Because Christians believe same-sex marriages will devalue traditional marriage, just like when they order a Big Mac and someone else orders the Filet-o-Fish sandwich. It devalues their choice of the hamburger. Sandwich selection is a choice, just like sexual orientation. After all, non-gays remember when they chose to be heterosexual. It’s similar to when everyone chose their race. That’s why for centuries white Christians railed against inter-racial marriage. If god had meant for the races to sexually mingle, he’d have made us all choose one color. Caucasians were the dominant race for over three hundred years in this country and that was not to be diluted, or polluted, by mixing with a different skin pigment.

      The intolerance and lunacy hasn't changed - only the target.

One anti-gay marriage activist wrote,"Admittedly, society's interest in marriages that do not produce children is less than its interest in marriages that result in the reproduction of the species. However, we still recognize childless marriages because it would be an invasion of a heterosexual couple's privacy to require that they prove their intent or ability to bear children." Invading the privacy of a homosexual couple however, is justified because they cannot bear children via their sexual relationship, so any recognition of their commitment should be withheld, and it is why Christians have a 'heightened interest' in preventing gay marriage.

Christians claim they will be forced, through silence or tolerance, to condone what they view as an attack on the 'natural order of things', especially biblical morality. Biblical morality is an oxymoron because the bible calls for gays to be put to death - as Leviticus 20:13 says - even though gays have harmed no one. Christians are also commanded to kill (usually by stoning) anyone who claims to be a witch, worships another god, or picks up sticks on the Sabbath. Frankly, I don't think there are enough stones in the world.

Everybody must get stoned!

Claiming that someone's marriage defiles your religion is like slapping someone for eating a donut because you're on a diet. Considering all the malevolence that exists in the world, the fact that a religion condemns two people loving each other proves just how evil religion is.

It’s simple enough; if you don’t like gay marriage…don’t get one.