Donald Trump - America's Newest Medal of Honor Winner

In a move sure to please his fan base, Donald Trump has awarded himself the nation’s highest and most esteemed military decoration, the Medal of Honor.
          What is his justification?

"I really believe I’d run in there even if I didn’t have a weapon," Trump had said at his White House meeting with 39 governors about what he would have done at the Florida school that was the scene of the most recent mass shooting. Trump was so proud of himself for his claim and, imagining he would have saved all the students and teachers killed on Valentine’s Day at Stoneman Douglas High School, he immediately signed an Executive Order giving himself the Medal of Honor.

With Pence and Mattis' approval, Trump awards himself the medal

“I actually earned this quite a while ago,” Trump exclaimed as he fumbled with the ribbon to put the medal around his neck. “I always felt like I was a great and brave soldier back in the '80s when I was having so much unprotected sex. This is just the culmination of so many amazing things I’ve done.”

Seeing few people in the room were moved by his reasoning, Trump said “Hey, ISIS is history. I defeated them. Not even Obama could do that…and he created them!” When no one immediately applauded, Trump up the ante. “And another thing, if I hadn’t had those bone spurs in my foot, or feet…you’ll look it up in the records, it’s in the records…I’d have been the greatest soldier in the entire history of that war back in the 60s when they were drafting kids. Not one gook would have escaped my sights,” he said. “The war would have ended within a week of my arriving at wherever it was we were fighting back then. So I deserve this.”

          Generals McMaster, Mattis, Dunford, and Kelly all stood by expressionless as Trump placed the ribbon and medal around his neck. Waving his hand dismissively at them Trump boasted “After talking with all the generals, they agreed that if anyone should get this medal, it’s me. I mean, no one is better at the military than me...believe me!”

          Trump added while pointing to the medal around his neck,“And this deserves a military parade in my honor this July 4^th…or on that November 11^th day, for whatever reason we celebrate then!” 

          This follows on the heels of Trump’s request, via a third party, that he be given the Nobel Peace Prize, too. An unidentified American who nominated the U.S. president reportedly cited Trump's "ideology of peace by force" (such as threatening nuclear war with North Korea) for the submission for the prize. A similar reason accompanied a nomination for Trump to win last year’s 2017 prize. Just one minor problem; Trump's nomination for the Nobel Peace Prize was forged, the head of the Norwegian Nobel Institute said Wednesday February 27^th. “We have good reason to believe that the nomination we received concerning Trump has been falsified,” Institute Director Olav Njolstad told reporters.

          Henrik Urdal, manager of the Peace Research Institute Oslo, told the Associated Press that even though Trump was nominated for the 2018 Nobel Peace Prize, the nomination “lacks any strong academic justification”.

Like it or not, Syria is NOT our problem

What is it with the American government, its covert services, and military? Have we done such an admirable and praiseworthy job in Afghanistan, and left a stable, peaceful, and democratic situation behind in Iraq, that we now want to put that same expertise to work in Syria? And drag other unwilling nations into the quagmire with us? Has the summer heat finally gotten to our politicians and military leaders? I’m asking a lot of questions in this post because our politicians and military haven’t.

Why do we need to stop Assad? We don’t do jack about Kim Jong Un in North Korea. We don’t do diddley about the daily killings in Somalia, Sudan or the Democratic Republic of Congo. Look how Ahmadinejad is no longer considered a big threat. He’s still making the same noise as before, but we now just consider him a loon, even though his regime has killed hundreds of Iranians. But let Assad gas his own people, (like Saddam did to the Kurds in 1988 while we stood around with our thumbs jammed up our sphincter…Hell, we even helped him.) and suddenly, Obama grows a pair and threatens to take our military into another mess.

Haven’t U.S. politicians learned anything? Do they understand what George Santayana meant when he said “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it”? This is the information age, and we’re swamped with information technology, so It’s not like the facts and statistics from past U.S. misadventures isn’t available, in an easy-to-read second grade level format (which is the right level for our Congress and administration), So how are they missing the warning signs to stay clear of Syria? Does the president think he has a great relationship with Vladimir Putin and can talk the Russians into staying on the sidelines? Didn’t John Kerry learn anything about the misapplication of the U.S. military when he served in Vietnam? Are Syria’s friends in the Middle East (and there are several) just going to lets us walk in and beat up Assad? Does our military think that we’ll only lose a few thousand of our men and women in uniform when we go up against a well-armed military with state-of-the-art Russian hardware, unlike those backwoods tribal yahoos armed with second-rate black market weapons in Afghanistan that have cost us a couple thousand casualties? Those Afghani bumpkins have been easy to subdue in the past ten years; so no doubt, the Syrians will be a pushover.

Oops, wrong target!

We’ll play it safe and initiate combat by using our Predators and other drones to selectively take out the people who are deemed the biggest threats…which has worked so well in Pakistan, Yemen and Afghanistan with no collateral damage to come back and haunt us. And when that doesn’t resolve anything, we’re going to put U.S. troops on Syrian soil…to do what? How will we tell friend from foe? And getting involved in Syria’s civil war will benefit us how? How many American lives is this effort worth? When were we given the badge, and the task, to be the world’s policemen? Team America: World Police was meant to be a crude, funny movie, not the way the U.S. really operates. And naturally, with our superpower status and vibrant economy, we’ve got plenty of money to pour down the Syrian rat hole.

Those who think we as a country need to ‘man up’ and get involved in the Syrian mess should be in the first invasion wave and put their money (and their lives) where their mouth is. Senator Bill Nelson (D-Florida), if you REALLY believe we need to go into Syria to stop Assad from killing his own people, I want to see YOU in uniform, leading the troops in the front line with your bayoneted rifle poised to kill the first Syrian who challenges you. And take John Kerry and Obama with you!