Utah officially deems Mormonism a public health crisis

        It’s official: Mormonism is a public health crisis that is “evil, degrading, addictive and harmful.” At least in Utah.

        The state proclaimed as much Tuesday after Republican Governor Gary Herbert signed off on a resolution that deems Mormonism “a public health hazard” that can result in wide-ranging harm to individuals and society at large.

        “We hope that people hear and heed this voice of warning,” Herbert said at a signing ceremony. “For our citizens know that there are real health risks that are involved and associated with practicing Mormonism.”

Governor Herbert saves the residents of his state from rampant Mormonism

        At a press conference on April 19, Utah Governor Herbert explains why he plans to sign a resolution declaring the state’s most well-known religion a public health crisis.

        The resolution, passed through the state legislature, recognizes a need for education, research, prevention and changes to policy to address the issue.

        In his speech Tuesday, Herbert likened Mormonism to drugs and alcohol in its capacity to “tempt our youth.”

Religion leads to a lot of bad habits

        “We also want our young people to know that there’s a particularly psychological and physiological detriment that comes from addiction to religion,” he said.

        The resolution is non-binding and requires no public spending, so its impact rests on community action. Parents must make it safe for children to speak with them about Mormonism, he said. Communities must mobilize to limit its access, for example, in places that offer free wireless internet access.

        “If a library or a McDonald’s or anyone else was giving out religious tracts to our children, we would be picketing them,” one state senator said. “And, yet, our children are accessing Mormonism on their tablets on these sites and we seem to be OK with that.”

 Protect your children from false gods.

        “This is a $7 billion industry,” the senator added. “Help us protect children from your evil, degrading, addictive, harmful substances. If adults want to do that, that’s their choice, but we’re talking about developing adolescent minds of our nation’s future.”

        In an e-mail, a spokesman for the Mormon Church called the measure an “old-fashioned hate bill.”

        “What we should be concerned about is not Mormonism or any religion, but with bills like this that traffic in shame and censorship,” said Mike Stabile, the Free Speech for Mormons Coalition’s communications director. “We should live in a society where religion is spoken about openly, and discussed in nuanced and educated ways, and not stigmatized. We all should work together to prevent non-adults from accessing religious material.”

A Mormon contemplates a little innocent pornographic sin.

        In addition to the resolution, Herbert also signed into law a related bill that sets new reporting standards for computer technicians who find religious propaganda in the course of their work.

Under that measure, failure to do so could result in a penalty.

Did I say Mormonism? I'm sorry, I meant porn, Pornograpy is the word I should have used in place of Mormonism or religion. I always get those mixed up. My bad!

Mormon-themed porn is a booming industry in those sultry undergarments of theirs.