Desperate times call for
desperate measures, at least if you’re a bible-thumping Mississippi politician.
When it appears no one is taking your religion seriously, rub it in everyone’s
face by introducing legislation to make your holy book a permanent part of the
state’s heritage.
A bill has been placed
before Mississippi’s legislature to make the bible the state’s official book.
Precisely which version has still not been determined. Will it be the Catholic,
King James, Coptic, New Standard, Greek Orthodox, New International, Jehovah’s
Witness, Mormon, or some other translation? This is an important point since
you don’t want the people of the state reading the wrong account. As any True
Christian ® will tell you, only their version is the right version,
all others will lead you to hell, so this issue will need to be addressed.
Tom Miles and Mike Evans
One of the bill’s sponsors, Democratic
State Representative Tom Miles, claims that the Bible “provides a good role model on how to treat people. They could read in
there about love and compassion” which proves Representative Miles hasn’t
read it yet, or is encouraging people to just cherry-pick from it. Does he mean
the good role models provided by: God as he deals with Adam and Eve, Lot and
his two daughters, Jehoram of Judah, King David, Abraham, Saul, or just about
anybody in Deuteronomy? And that love and compassion business; is it the love
shown for Jephthah’s daughter, Job’s family, the Amalekites, the Midianites, the
Canaanites, the first-born of the Egyptians, all the children aged two and under
in Palestine when Jesus is born, or everything down to the fish and insects in
God’s worldwide flood? Nowhere does the bible say why every living thing was
sentenced to death. What did the chinchillas do to piss God off? Neither love nor
compassion seem high on God’s list.
But a bigger issue is, why pick
the bible? Why immortalize a book that divides people and treats woman as
property, a book that is laced with genocide, blood sacrifice, slavery,
misogyny, fables, inaccuracies, and submission to a celestial tyrant? And that’s just in the first two chapters. Why
not choose William Faulkner’s The Sound and the Fury, Willie Morris’ My
Mississippi, or Shelby Foote’s Follow Me Down? These writers were all born in
the Magnolia State and their books drew heavily on their experiences of growing
up there. Larry Wells, whose wife is a descendant of Faulkner, said of the
bill, “It’s impossible to conceive of a
state abandoning its literary heritage like that...what would Faulkner, Welty,
Shelby Foote and Richard Wright think? I think they would collectively link
arms and say, ‘Go back to kindergarten, Legislature.’” What an insidious
thing to say…about kindergartners. They usually display greater common sense
than these members of the state legislature. The bible was written by
semi-literate men in a small area of the Middle East and was intended strictly
for the Hebrew people. Very few of their descendants live in Mississippi, so it
doesn’t make sense to propose the bible, unless you have a sneaky agenda to
coerce people into following your religion.
In an effort to evade the
establishment clause of the U.S. Constitution, the bill’s other sponsor, Democratic
Representative Michael Evans says, "the
bill doesn't force anyone to read it.” No one is forced to use U.S.
currency which includes “In God We Trust” on it, but what alternative is there?
Evans is more up front when he admits “the
bill will encourage people to pick up the Bible.” Encourage. How long before encourage becomes compulsory? There’s
the real reason people like him want it declared the ‘state book’. He wants everyone
to remember him as Mississippi’s Numero-Uno-Christian and the guy who made
recognition of his religion obligatory. Because what’s good for Mike Evans has
to be good for the rest of the state, otherwise, why else would God have given him
the idea to push this bill when it is clearly unconstitutional? The separation
of church and state? Not in his state. Congress shall make no law respecting an
establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof? Mr. Evans
or Miles would retort “Well, it ain’t a
law now…see here…people’s jus’ ‘posed ta see the bible is highly regarded by
people lahk me at the govumint level, an’ take it more serious-like, read it,
an’ put it ta use in they’s lives.” I don’t live in that state,
but I do have a bible, and I've found an excellent use for it.
There may be a bible in most
Mississippi homes but few of the residents there have actually sat down and read all the way through it,
even Mr. Miles and Mr. Evans. I would bet the people in
Mississippi have read more of the Harry Potter series of books. They are much
better reads, too.
Mississippi has been ranked as
the most religious state in the country but it also ranks dead last of all 50
states and the District of Columbia…in areas such as health, educational
attainment, seat belt use, and median household income. Is it any surprise?
This idiotic bill isn't going to help Myth-iss-ippi-ans improve their reading rank either. They are listed last in that category too.
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